Tatted UP…

Hello readers! I just wanted to stop by and say  that I’m having a pretty good day. I took my puppies to the vet yesterday and they’re fine (pics coming soon!). Everyday is pretty much OK, but every now and then you have a day where there is just joy in your heart. That’s how I feel today.

I went to Bible study last night. The pastor came from Romans 4:1-5, he talked about people and how some think that just their works will get them into heaven, but you also have to have Faith because Faith with out works is dead. He also said that Faith is not activated until you make a move. For example, you have to take that first step out onto that tight rope  and THEN he will begin to see your faith. It was good. I love that I learn and can remember because for a long time I would go to church and listen but not really learn. My spiritual journey has been a good and fulfilling one so far. I am looking forward to being free from my all of my strongholds. I’m taking it one step and one day at a time. When I get to that place, I”m thinking about getting a tattoo that symbolizes my growth in Christianity…maybe a tattoo of a scripture or something or a symbol (a small one of course, maybe on my ankle). what are some of your favorite scriptures????? I would love some feedback!

Peace!

There is more that I require of Thee…

Excuse me if I get a little long winded today. I  have so much to tell you all. It’s been a very eventful weekend. Grab some pop corn…

Thursday…I went to work just your normal day and ran into one of my co-workers who informed me that her dog had puppies and she was looking for good home for them. I was elated because I have been searching everywhere for puppies but I really didn’t want to pay for one because animals are everywhere…why pay?

Friday…She brought the puppies, 5 total, up to my job after I got off work and I looked at them. they were so cute that I took two of them. their names are Grace and Mercy. Anyway, later that evening I got dressed to go to a Gospel Fest with my sorority sisters and we had a good time. I could hardly wait to get back home to my babies though. I guess that was the motherly instinct kicking in. After the Gospel Fest we went to this party at  the Embassy Hotel for all of the Sorors and did the usual, strolled and danced a little. Nothing to different from the usual. I went home and played with my puppies then went to bed.

Saturday…I woke up earlier than usual and cleaned a little and played with Grace and Mercy. I called ‘Mr. Shortie’ and we got some pizza and cheese sticks and had a greasy lunch. He left for work and I started calling around to find Veterinarians to take my pups in for the routine check ups. My sorority sis came over and we watched some of your typical Saturday marathon reality TV series; Bridezilla, Real Housewives of New Jersey ( I heart reality TV). Its my guilty, trashy pleasure. I took the babies out for a half a second, ran a couple of errands, ate Wendy’s for dinner…eeewwww! It was the only thing open.

Sunday…I got up and got ready for church, got there 10 minutes late, but surprisingly they were running a little late too so I counted it a blessing. It was a good powerful service. The sermon was entitled ‘God is calling you to your Purpose’… I had always knew that I had a purpose, and work to do for God. I always have visions and dreams of myself singing and dancing and directing a children’s choir, but I though of them as my thoughts, not Gods. Something that I just thought up myself while daydreaming or something. At the end of the service, the pastors wife took me over to the side and asked me,’Have you said yes yet?” At first I did not understand, but soon after I realized that she meant have I committed to doing what the Lord has called me to do…ministering through music. I wept and wept because not only was it confirmation, I felt scared and embarrassed that it took me so long to come to the realization. I was scared because of the underlying thought that I am incapable of doing such. Scared because I have to get rid of even more things that have me enslaved but are comfortable to me. She also said that when she first saw me that she saw a yoke around my neck. That scared me because there are good yokes and bad yokes. The yoke of God, is easy and light, but the yoke of flesh is the exact opposite and hard to escape. I said yes to my calling, However, I need clarity now and I just have to take it one day at a time…Pray for me.

Peace!!!

R.I.P Michael Jackson…

As stunning an artistic statement as Off the Wall was, it did little to prepare anyone for the cultural phenomenon that was his subsequent album, Thriller. Jackson’s goal was to create an album in which every song was a hit. He didn’t quite accomplish that, but he did create a classic pop album that fans zealously snatched up (to the tune of an estimated 100 million copies worldwide to date) and that solidified his status as the King of Pop. Debate still rages about whether Off the Wall or Thriller is stronger as an album. (I, for one, think it’s the former.) But the sea change Jackson created with Thriller had less to do with the music than with the medium. At the height of MTV, Jackson became the first black artist to create a fan base using his image rather than in spite of it. His grasp of performance and presentation remains without parallel.

Jackson’s subsequent albums failed to reach the stratospheric heights of Thriller. But Jackson retained his knack for spectacle. Every music video he released was a major event, which is why MTV’s lifetime-achievement statue at its annual awards show still bears his name. As a singer, as a songwriter, as a performer, as a dancer, Jackson remains among the most gifted, imaginative, larger-than-life musician of any race that has ever come along. Whatever changed about him over the years, that certainly didn’t.

I too still am a big fan of Mega Star Michael Jackson. It’s amazing that people so young who didn’t even grow up in the era of Michael’s reign still became loyalfans like myself. No artist has topped his sales and I doubt that anyone will. I love good music and I’ll never forget good ole’ Michael Jackson. He’ll always have a spot in my heart and my ipod. R.I.P Michael Jackson.

Still A Fan!

Peace! 

 

Oh Happy Day!!!!

After a trying day at work yesterday I headed home determined to get some relaxation and put myself back together. I stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up some Feta cheese and some other things fir dinner, then I dropped off a few bills and headed home. I took a shower and washed my hair then I put in some rollers (which took forever) my friend we’ll call ‘Mr. Shortie’ came over to have dinner with me. I cooked chicken breast stuffed with feta, spinach, and sun dried tomatoes with rice and veggies. It was pretty good, but I could’ve did with out the tomatoes.

Anyway ‘Mr. Shortie’ arrived and I welcomed him in. There  I was…still with 100 rollers in my hair going in all directions, a t-shirt, lounge pants and house shoes. I didn’t care though, I like him, he’s a nice guy and all but I just feel like I need some time to be me and get myself back. ‘Mr. Shortie’ would do absolutely anything for me I know, but he makes me lazy, and spoiled. For example, he never says no. He’d wait on me hand and foot. When we were more involved we really didn’t get out that often, we just spent nights at his place or mine. I enjoyed the quiet evenings but that is not what I needed. On the other hand, I am pretty comfortable around him. After dinner, we ate the dessert I made and I cleaned a little , he left and I went to bed determined to take my own advice about procrastination from my previous post. Now here I am work. I’m tired but OK. I got here on time, my hair is cute (that really helps), and I’m getting a puppy tomorrow.

Cheers to feeling good!!

Peace!

Procrastination…

 

In my life I feel that there are some things I do well, but somethings I want to and should do better…I’ve gotten revelation that like alot of people in the world, I’m being over come by procrastination. My day got real ugly real quick because of it.

Last night, I knew that I’d have to wake up at 5 am so that I could be to work at 6 am. OK fine, I can do that, I’ve done it before. That evening, I proceeded to go for a late dinner with ‘Mr.Fine”, and I got back to my place at about 10:30 pm last night. For me that’s pretty good being that the normal hours I usually keep. I got to sleep around 11:20-ish. This morning, my radio alarm clock went off, and I did the usual…reached over, press the off button, slam my head back upon the pillow ritual. Procrastination. By the grace of God. I woke up again at 5:38 in shock, as usual like I didn’t deliberately go back to sleep. Huffing and puffing and slightly irritated that I have to go to work. I Put on my jeans and tennis shoes and a wrinkled shirt, brushed my teeth and thanked the Lord that I showered last night. Grabbed my lunch bag (full of yesterdays leftovers) and took off into the humid morning speeding to work in my little Saturn. Didn’t stop to Pray so I figured that i had it coming when I got to work. I dash to and through the security guards and to my office. No time to check emails, I dropped my bag and head to the plant floor, but guess what I forgot to put on my steel toes (work boots). I Head back out, but guess what, I forgot to put on my protective clothing…”Geeze!!!” I thought feeling as if there was someone else to blame, I felt my frustration rising. Then I finally get to the area where my project is. I feel the wrath of procrastination coming over me as my semi-boss walks over and tells me that I’m late (DUH!!) and that it’s “Absolutely unacceptable.” I immediately want to tell him what happened. In my mind I want to explain,” I was here at 6:05, only five minutes late, I had to get my boots, and my protective wear!” The fact of the matter is that he didn’t care. All he knows is that I was not here like I said I would be, and that what ever I had to do should have been avoided by proper time management and discipline.Procrastination. So instead of saying anything I said nothing and stewed in my irritation (caused by none other than procrastination), pretty much ignoring everything he said thereafter. I knew I was wrong, and all the while I’m inside my head making excuses…” I can’t be perfect all the time, if he wasn’t here trying to take over my project he wouldn’t even know I was a little late”…blah blah blah…He left to go do other things…I was happy, but some how I knew that this wasn’t over. I went back to my office and there he was, I wanted to make a U-turn right out of there but that would’ve been too obvious that I didn’t want to see or hear his voice. Then he chewed my hind parts some more, and some more…I was like OK! I get it! but this guy gets on his high horse and does not like to get off. I mean sometimes I hate to ask him a question cause he goes on and on with this his I’m-the-smartest-person-in-the-world attitude. After he finished feasting on the last little bit of my positive attitude I had left, I was so long faced. So then I reached over into my bag and pulled out this little book called ‘Our Daily Bread’ my mom gave me Sunday and read the passage for today’s date…How ironic that it was about procrastination.

My Revelation:

Because of fear of failure or insecurities or lack of discipline people like myself put off starting projects and or making decisions that could make a big difference in our futures, lives, or something as simple as our days at work. It is time that we take advantage of our most precious asset that can never be replaced…TIME!!! OUT with PROCRASTINATION!!!

Don’t put off for tomorrow

What you can do today;

Postponement may bring sorrow,

Prompt action is the way.– Hess

Peace!! 

What a Weekend…

I went home to spend Father’s Day weekend ith my family, instead of going to the Greek Picnic/Birthday Bash in ATL. I’m glad I took the time to spend with my family instead of going to be around people who would tease me about trying to do the right thing and stay on the straight and narrow path of Christianity. The funny thing about it was although I did go home, it was easier to be good, but still there was a struggle with my flesh….

Friday evening when I arrived to my home town my mom invited me to go to a church members/family friends engagement party. Nice and wholesome right? Not! I was the youngest person at the party, and boy did I get an earful. I heard story after story about how they went to see this stipper called ‘For Play’ and how he flippped them and dipped them and how they felt him up and all kinds of stuff. Then two short ladies who were sisters walked in and they were some straight gangstas’. I listened as they went on and on as one told a story about how her car got stolen and she found somebody driving it and took them on a high speed chase with amunition! Finally she said after a couple returns of bullets, they jumped out of the car and it ran into a fence. They both were saying how they own guns and are not afraid to shoot them and cursed like sailors. It’s sad but I found humor in their shananagans. Then here comes the alcholic beverages (Yay for me I declined!!!). It was quite interesting to see these extra grown women in play. When the party was over we went outside to see the two sisters hop into Magnums and Crown Victorias with expensive paint jobs and rims were 24 inches high…hilarious!

Saturday I went to my little brothers basketball game and watched as he played little defense which gave my hot tempered dad sky high blood pressure and he screamed and embarassed us once again in the middle of the basketball court during half time. I really wish he would calm down. I hope he doesn’t die hollering. We went home and heard it some more form my dad who can never seem to let things go, especially things that don’t matter like stupid little leage basketball games. Then he asks my mom and I…”Did I go to far?”…a trick question, because if you don’t agree he goes on and on trying to justify his actions and if you do he goes on some more to take jabs at my little brother calling him a sissy and all that kinds of crap. It really ticks me off to be quite honest, the more I see of this behavior from my dad, the more I convince myself that I WILL NEVER MARRY A MAN LIKE HIM. Sure he’s a great provider and protector, but that’s not what you remember as a child you remember the comforting times when you were hurting and the times you could confide in your parents, all those material things pass away. Besides I’ll be graduating in less than a year and I’ll be and engineer. Money? who cares? I’ll have that in my marraige. What else can you bring to the table?

 

Saturday night I went to visit my best friend in the world Ashley. I love Ashley, she knows more about me than my own mother. We went to here cousins house to see her new baby. We sat there for hours and talked about babies and stuff. She told us how painful her recent birth was and I was like “Oh Hell no!”..please excuse my French. It made me want to get a surrogate mother.LOL. When we left, I went to get my grumpy dad a Father’s Day gift and went back to my parents house.

Sunday I went to the eight o’clock service with my mom, while my dad skipped to go fishing. The pastor talked about men and fathers…you know,the usual fathers day sermon in a Baptist church urging men to take care of their responsiblilties and take thier rightful place in the home etc. etc.Mom and I cooked and we ate dinner, that’s about it.

Monday morning, I hit the road again to head back to my HOT apartment (thermostat read 90 degrees). Tried get some sleep, emphasis on the word TRIED. and now I’m here at work again. I’m going to the gym today, then Bible study afterward, a pretty eventful evening…for me atleast.

You’ve been officially updated!

Peace

You CAN be Christian and Sociable…

Yestersay was a good one. I got off of work around 4pm and I drug myself to the gym after comtemplating skipping the gym all day.Afterwards I rushed home like a mad woman to get this order of Euro pillows that came in the mail (I’m addicted to on-line shopping)  and  get ready for this Gospel Concert at one of the local churches here in town. I have to say, It was pretty good. There is this Gospel Hip Hop artist by the name of Canton Jones. He is AWESOME!!!! I’m not that into gospel rap cause it can get a little corny but I’m so impressed by this young man. It was a blessing to see how much the younger kids loved him. I met a friend there we’ll call Mr. Fine. He told me about the concert and I’m glad I went regardless of the fact that I had to stand in a long line in the church lobby with 100 people and 90 degree heat. I’ve never seen anything like it, but after I saw this Canton Jones guy perform, I knew why the masses were there.

 

 

The concert was getting a little long so my friend and I left to go get some dinner at Wings, who has an awesome dish called ‘Black and White chicken’ by the way. It was fun, we talked mostly about food and music and how much we love them. I enjoyed myself as usual. After we ate, I tried to be slick and get the Server to come and get my VISA so that I could pay for dinner since I invited him, but he was indeed slicker than I. The server had already taken his card. So much for trying to be a show off, I got upstaged by my own guest.

I had a great day, and I’m doing good with my Christian walk. Going to that concert showed me that it’s not as hard as I thought it would be to please God and still be a sociable person. Today I’ll be going home to visit my family for Father’s Day weekend. I’m looking forward to seeing them and getting some rest apart from my usual schedule of running around all over town to handle business and visit people. This time I’m just gonna chill with the parents and siblings. Ahhh…I think it’s gonna be a good weekend.

Happy Friday!

Peace

You Reap what you Sow…

I got home from work yesterday and decided that I would once and for all end the madness with my Internet. Every since I moved I haven’t been able to set up my own wireless. So I sat there again with the customer service girl for about 30 or 40 minutes for her to tell me that I’d be getting another DSL box, another conversation that ended with a dry “Bye” because I felt I hadn’t gotten anything accomplished except waste my peak hour minutes. Grrr!

I went to church for Bible Study and I had a small revelation. The pastor came from Luke 8: 1-25. He went on to explain about the sower and the seed. He mentioned how you should sow seed anonymously, meaning not for show. How you should tend to the seed somewhat like a gardener would water and weed it, and how you should sow in expectancy for something to grow. Another thing he mentioned was that if you sow apples you should reap apples. for example if you bring drama to everyone you reap drama from everyone. The main thing that hit me was when he talked about the different types of soil that we are. There were four types he talked about.

 

 

1. The soil that got no seed because it feel to the way side- When a person does not understand the Word of God, The devil catches it and steals the little understanding and remembrance that we do have.

2. The shallow, stoney soil- The type of person who knows the Word but it is not deep inside of them, so when the trials and tribulations if life come, the word gets washed away, and they loose their faith in God quickly.

3. The thorny soil- The type of people who love things of the world so much that it chokes the life out of them. For example, people who want the fancy clothes and cars and money that they get consumed by it and forget all about God, which would eventually lead to tremendous debt to the world and the Lord.

4. The good soil-The type of people who hold on to every word and study and meditate on it and spread it all around then tend to it and reap a huge harvest.

See…I told you it was a good lesson.

I forgot to mention that I saw a sister of mine, that was a pleasant surprise. As for the fine man that goes to that church. I saw him too, after church. When the lesson was over, I looked over and he saw me, I gave the subtle “hi” with a small wave of the hand and left out of the door. He hurried over to say hi and said ” I know you not gonna leave and not give me a hug?”. I said “no…never”. We hugged and truth be told I was very happy…yep. He went back inside for choir practice. Yes, he’s in the choir. Impressive huh?

Changing Your Life? ewwww!!!

I hit the gym after work. It had been a long time since I’d been to the gym so I felt really awkward which was magnified when I walked in the door by the trainer saying …”Hey girl! I haven’t seen you in a long time!”. OMG. I’d been missing in action so long I really didn’t even know what to work out but I went for the old trusty treadmill. It felt good to be back in the gym with my new Nike work out clothes. I forgot how packed the gym is during the early part of the week, so I had to endure plenty of stares at my hind parts in my yoga pants.LOL. Nevertheless, it was a good work out that was long over due.

 

I went to Bible study, (yes Bible study on a Tuesday) and it was a really good lesson. I learned a lot. The pastor came from Romans 3:23-30. He was saying how people establish their own righteousness, their own standard not God’s. Like how people say “Having a drink every now and then is ok!’ or ” gettin’ some is ok as long as you don’t do it often” or ” I go to church every Sunday that should be good enough” but it’s not. We establish our own righteousness all the time when the truth is WE CAN NOT SAVE OURSELVES. We can’t justify ourselves only God’s forgiveness and salvation can. It was a lesson that I can work to implement in my daily life. 

After Bible study, I met my sisters at Connor’s for a Birthday dinner (not my Birthday). We laughed and talked and bubbled about this big event coming up this weekend in ATL. I had been thinking that I probably would skip it because that wouldn’t be good for me right now being that I’m trying to change my life and be a better person. So…I went a head and broke the news to them. You should have seen their reactions. They slayed me…”You’re already a good person!”, ” You wanna change your life on THIS WEEKEND!” ,”I’m mad at you, you ruined my Birthday”, the comments were all with love but their reactions kind of hurt my feelings, I only had one other supporter at the table besides myself. I also felt a little sorry for them. That they couldn’t see the beauty in what I was trying to do and take a que from me but whatever. I just moved on and finished my salmon, which was delicious by the way.

I’ll be going the Bible study again tonight, I have a feeling it will be good at this other church I’ll be visiting for the second time.  Hopefully I can concentrate. There is this handsome man who is a member there…He’s so fine. LOL.

Pray for Me! Thanks!

Peace

The Many Masks I Wear

Sunday afternoon, I went to church and had a great time, I felt the spirit of God. I cried, I praised and sung songs and I felt good and whole. After church I went to eat Sunday brunch with some members but I didn’t feel that same wholeness that I felt earlier, my mood changed and I felt all alone with a group of people. Maybe it was the fact that everyone was sort of coupled up that emphasized I was alone, then I felt jealous. Jealous of the women who did have someone, then came the self righteous thoughts like..”I look way better than her”, “I’m more spiritual”,I am more successful”…Things that I often hide behind to mask my hurt, my pain. I think I hide from myself sometimes, staying buried in my work, shopping all the time to fill up my emptiness and all. It just doesn’t work. When I lay down at night my heart yurns for love….God’s love that I have often confused with the love of a man or friends or even material things. The good thing is that at least I know that I have these problems and who can fix them, I gues the first step is knowing, and accepting that I am partial.

 

 

I have tried to cope with my new way of life by trying ti stay busy, or keeping my mind occupied but the more I try the harder it is. For example, I went to work yestarday (Monday) came home and watched TV for a while, did some laundry, go on facebook a little, everything was fine until…I decided to do a little reading from the Bible. All of a sudden, every guy I know wants to call and call and call. I thought to myself “here we go again.” As my elders would say…”That ain’t nothing but the devil.”  I’ll be going to Bible study tonight… We’ll see what kind of obstacles make their way to my side of town when I try to go. Yeah it’s Tuesday and I’m going to church, and I’ll probably go to another Bible study Wednesday just to stay occupied but it’s the best thing to keep my mind stayed on Him and not him or them.

I’m going to do it!

Peace